Don’t belabor the obvious (but explain what you must)

Before

The total assets under management are determined when the first Portfolio Management Contract is signed. The fee schedule is 1.5% to 2% of total assets under management per year. Fees are due and payable on the first day of the month that begins a new calendar quarter. Fees are charged and drawn on the accounts on January 1st, April 1st, July 1st, and October 1st of each year. Fees are charged in quarterly increments of 25% of the total assets under management for the ending prior quarter balance.

For total assets under management in excess of $500,000, fees are discounted 25% per year. The management fee schedule is between 1.13% and 1.5% of total assets under management per year for assets under management in excess of $500,000.

(127 words)

Before, with commentary

The total assets under management are determined when the first Portfolio Management Contract is signed. The fee schedule is 1.5% to 2% of total assets under management per year. Fees are due and payable on the first day of the month that begins a new calendar quarter [why not just say “the first day of each calendar quarter”?]. Fees are charged and drawn on the accounts on January 1st, April 1st, July 1st, and October 1st of each year [this is just another way of saying that fees are payable on the first day of each calendar quarter]. Fees are charged in quarterly increments of 25% of the total assets under management [they must mean 25% of the total fee, not total assets, right?] for the ending prior quarter balance.

For total assets under management in excess of $500,000, fees are discounted 25% per year. [The first paragraph should alert readers to this different fee schedule.] The management fee schedule is between 1.13% and 1.5% of total assets under management [this is just another way of saying that fees for these assets are discounted 25%] per year for assets under management in excess of $500,000 [this was already said in the previous sentence].

After

The total assets under management are determined when the first Portfolio Management Contract is signed. The fee schedule generally is 1.5% to 2% of total assets under management per year, but fees are reduced to a range of 1.13% to 1.5% for assets in excess of $500,000.

Fees are due and payable on the first day of each calendar quarter. The amount charged to your account will be 25% of the total annual fee based on assets under management on the last day of the previous calendar quarter.

(88 words)