Get to the point

Before

There can be no assurance as to the actual impact that the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008 (“EESA”) or other initiatives undertaken by the U.S. government through the federal regulatory agencies will have on the financial markets, including the extreme levels of volatility and limited credit availability currently being experienced. The failure of the EESA to help stabilize the financial markets and a continuation or worsening of current financial market conditions could materially and adversely affect ABC’s business, financial condition, results of operations, access to credit or the trading price of ABC’s common stock.

(95 words)

Before, with commentary

There can be no assurance [avoid these throat-clearing phrases] as to the actual impact that the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008 (“EESA”) or other initiatives undertaken by the U.S. government through the federal regulatory agencies [for this discussion, it doesn’t matter how the government is implementing its initiatives] will have on the financial markets, including the extreme levels of volatility and limited credit availability currently being experienced. [this is awkward phrasing] The failure of the EESA [are you saying it has failed, or it could fail?] to help stabilize the financial markets and a continuation or worsening [these are verbs that the drafter turned into nouns; see this tip] of current financial market conditions could materially and adversely affect ABC’s business, financial condition, results of operations, access to credit or the trading price of ABC’s common stock.

After

The Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008 (“EESA”) and other initiatives undertaken by the U.S. government may not have the intended effect on the financial markets; the current extreme volatility and limited credit availability may persist. If the EESA fails to help stabilize the financial markets and current market conditions continue or deteriorate further, ABC’s business, financial condition, results of operations, and access to credit, and the trading price of ABC’s common stock, all could suffer a material decline.

(79 words)