Prefer the active voice

Before

A recommendation for the target total compensation of the Corporation’s other executive officers, including the CFO and other NEOs, is made by the CEO after reviewing the executive’s and the Corporation’s performance in conjunction with the executive’s responsibility and experience when compared to the competitive information prepared by the Consultant. The compensation package for the other executive officers, including the CFO and the other NEOs, is established by the Committee based on the recommendation of the CEO to the Committee and in consideration of the executive officer’s individual responsibility and experience and overall performance.

(94 words)

Before, with commentary

A recommendation for the target total compensation of the Corporation’s other executive officers, including the CFO and other NEOs, is made by the CEO [passive voice] after reviewing the executive’s and the Corporation’s performance in conjunction with the executive’s responsibility and experience when compared to the competitive information prepared by the Consultant [passive voice]. The compensation package for the other executive officers, including the CFO and the other NEOs [they already said this in the first sentence], is established by the Committee [passive voice] based on the recommendation of the CEO to the Committee and in consideration of the executive officer’s individual responsibility and experience and overall performance.

After

The CEO reviews the performance of each executive officer and of the Corporation, and considers that performance in relation to each executive’s responsibility and experience and the competitive information the Consultant has provided. Based on that review, the CEO makes a recommendation regarding the target total compensation of the other executive officers, including the CFO and other NEOs. The Committee uses that recommendation and the information supporting it to establish compensation packages.

(72 words)