Make your argument

Before

Say-on-pay analysis by certain proxy advisors seems to reach the wrong conclusion on vote recommendation because it fails to take into account performance criteria that are specific to our industry, our organization structure, and our business strategy in particular.

Before, with commentary

Say-on-pay analysis by certain proxy advisors [Anyone who is reading a supplemental proxy filing has already read the proxy adviser’s report, or will want to. You might as well identify them.] seems to reach the wrong conclusion [This is polite and diplomatic; don’t you want forceful and convincing?] on vote recommendation [I copied this exactly, including the proofing lapse, which doesn’t make a great impression.] because it fails to take into account performance criteria that are specific to our industry, our organization structure, and our business strategy in particular.

After

We disagree with Institutional Shareholder Services’ say-on-pay analysis and voting recommendation. As we explain below, ISS failed to consider performance criteria that are specific to our industry, our organization structure, and our business strategy.