Before
ABC Corporation, founded in 1968 with executive offices in Eatontown, New Jersey, with reported revenues of approximately $83 million for its fiscal year ended June 30, 2002, and manufacturing facilities in Pennsylvania, New York, South Carolina and Illinois, is a major producer of plastic containers for the packaging industry. It operates several wholly owned subsidiaries including XYZ Corporation, for the manufacture and sale of general line plastic bottles, the DEF Corporation and GHI Industries, Inc., responsible for manufacturing and sales of specialty plastic containers, and JKL Corporation, a leading supplier of PVC compounds and specially plastic alloys in the United States. The Company’s stock is traded under the symbol 1234.
Before, with commentary
ABC Corporation, founded in 1968 with executive offices in Eatontown, New Jersey, with reported revenues of approximately $83 million for its fiscal year ended June 30, 2002, and manufacturing facilities in Pennsylvania, New York, South Carolina and Illinois, is a major producer of plastic containers for the packaging industry. [There are 36 words between the name of the company and the description of the company’s business. And isn’t that revenue number important enough to have its own sentence?] It operates several [it would be better to give an actual number so readers know how many they are looking for] wholly owned subsidiaries including XYZ Corporation, for the manufacture and sale of general line plastic bottles, the DEF Corporation and GHI Industries, Inc., responsible for manufacturing and sales of specialty plastic containers, and JKL Corporation, a leading supplier of PVC compounds and specially plastic alloys in the United States. [Some of the commas in the preceding sentence should be semicolons to indicate a break.] The Company’s stock is traded under the symbol 1234.
After
ABC Corporation, which was founded in 1968, is a major producer of plastic containers for the packaging industry. Our revenues were approximately $83 million for the fiscal year ended June 30, 2002. We have executive offices in Eatontown, New Jersey, and operate manufacturing facilities in Pennsylvania, New York, South Carolina, and Illinois. ABC has four wholly-owned subsidiaries: XYZ Corporation, which manufactures and sells general line plastic bottles; the DEF Corporation and GHI Industries, Inc., both of which manufacture and sell specialty plastic containers; and JKL Corporation, a leading supplier of PVC compounds and specially plastic alloys. ABC’s stock is traded under the symbol 1234.
